Time Out!

To be the best mum that you can be, my advice is to be both present and absent!

Confused…? So, this is the blog that will help you realise that you cannot do it all and you may be in need of a little TIME OUT!

No, I don’t mean you are in trouble so go sit in the corner (I do not advocate for this to be used as a consequence often) I mean take some time out for you…. Please do not roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, “Is Chalkie serious? I don’t have time for myself!”

You do. Or, you need to make the time for yourself, starting now! Here’s why and here’s how.

FIRST…Here’s the why…

We want to be the best parent we can, best partner, best employee, best daughter, best friend, the list goes on… You want to be superwoman! But, the most important thing than all of these is that we look after ourselves first and take time out to do something for ourselves regularly or we won’t be able to be there for everyone else. If you are like most mums you juggle kids, partners, work, housework, cooking, bills, weekend sport, birthday parties and much more! When you try to do so much, your brain and your body need to be at their peak which is why you need to support your brain and your body with some time out – regularly!

NEXT… Here’s the how…

Think about something you really love to do for yourself and maybe BY YOURSELF!… enjoy a coffee and read a book alone (or read my blogs!), go to a Pilates class, have a bath, go shopping alone! Whatever it is, I’ll show you how to achieve it.

1. Dream – Now, think carefully about what you really need or want right now that is by yourself…. Then decide on something (you can even write it down if that helps), start with just one thing, it can be big or small, that you would like to do for yourself in the next week.

2. Plan – Now make it a reality. Look at your diary, calendar, talk to your partner, mum or babysitter and schedule a time to do it. In the next week. This is important or you will weasel your way out of it! I know you… I was you!

3. Stick to it – This is the hard part. Unless there is a natural disaster or medical emergency in the family, do not bail out of your plan. Go to that Pilates class. Go for that massage. And do not feel guilty about it, please, you deserve this and you need this.

4. On the day – Again, do not feel guilty! Enjoy it and be fully present in this TIME OUT! When the event is over but before you return to your family, be grateful. Take a moment to be thankful to whoever has the kids to allow you this time. Be thankful to yourself for arranging this time out. Be thankful to the universe that there was no emergency and finally, go home and be present with your family knowing you deserved that time to yourself to be a better mum/partner/person.

5. And repeat – Now, I bet you feel great! So, do it again. Do it regularly. Depending on your life and what you want to do in your own time, this could be a daily ritual, weekly or just monthly event. It doesn’t matter, as long as you continue to grant yourself that time.

Your time out doesn’t have to cost money, it can be a walk along the beach or time to sit on the porch and read. It can even just happen in the hour before everyone else wakes up in the mornings. Whatever works for you, make it happen and turn it into a habit for life. Your family will allow you this time because they will see you as calmer, happier and less stressed when you are with them. Take notice of how you feel after your time out. Do you see or feel a difference? I bet your family do. I bet they see a happier, calmer, healthier you!

And so this is how being absent helps you to become more present.